A new direction..

   Today I was browsing YouTube and noticed that there are a whole lot of depressed people out there! Not your usual weekday blahs, but real suicidal and self harming depressed people who are reaching out for some sort of human interaction to make themselves feel better... This is disturbing on many levels. First, YouTube is laden with assholes who can easily push someone right over the edge, without regard.. Second, this type of lonely depression can't be fixed with online companionship, it will require live human contact... but how do you communicate that with people who are at the end of their rope and how does one guide them to the ways they might fix their loneliness?
   The only idea I can even think of is trying to encourage them and offer simple ideas and pray they are able to use that advise.
           
   A few basic ideas for getting people talking...

  Start a conversation with someone on the bus.
  Compliment a co-worker on an achievement.
  Start a conversation with a co-worker.
  Ask a neighbor about something that is happening in their lives. (try not to be personal)
  Try to wear a smile more as people are much more likely to approach a happy looking person.

Lets face it, people love to talk about themselves so starting a conversation is a real easy thing to do, just keep in mind that politics, religion and giving advice on relationships are not good topics as people are way too touchy about those things. I know this will sound silly but acting is a great way to bust out of a depressed funk. By acting I mean, act like you are a happy person, even if you aren't, cause people recoil from depressing topics or people and are attracted to happy or pleasant people. Again if you are acting today then maybe as time goes on it won't be acting anymore.

  A thought for mood improvement...
   Try finding one good thing that is happening to/for you each day...
 A good nights sleep..
 A nice day outside...
 A good cup of coffee...
 Saw a cute animal on my way to the car...talked to it.
 Saw the neighbor kid playing and it made me smile...
 Stuck in traffic..but my AC and Radio works...

 Little things add up, and if you are looking for those things then the bad ones are being left behind.

    Other thing that help me with mood issues...

Who do they look like? I find a face in the crowd and try and find who they most resemble.
On the streets of Denver I have seen several Danny Glovers a George Bush a bunch of Queen Latifas...you get my drift. It takes your mind off of things.

Another one I use is imagining the outcome of pranks pulled on those around you, like I use the people on the bus and imagine someone coming in and pulling different pranks on them and that sometimes makes me giggle like an idiot but I'm having fun.

Make up funny names for people at work or on the bus..like if a guy is wearing thick glasses then he is now goggles...the lady in the green dress is now known as green dress, etc... "Good morning Green Dress" "Pleasant day Goggles" obviously don't say it out loud but have fun at others expense, it isn't harming anyone and it will improve your mood.

Try creating a story by using the signs you pass on the street, if you are like me it will stump you in a few blocks.

  One of the most basic triggers for loneliness is an idle mind , too much time to think about how bad you think your life is, so fill that idle time with something amusing!

Anonymous Dip S***s!

Have you noticed all these annoying little pricks on youtube, usually those emmy award winners who's philosophy is argue with everyone and be a complete ass for no reason at all, have no real fact and just throw out random non sense and verbal abuses till everyone leaves, then move to the next post. And 99.9% of the time they have

one of these stupid assed profile pics!

Sorry people, the whole "Anon" thing has nothing to do with your dumbass web browsing!

The entire point of the Anon movement is to remain anonymous online to, i will say it slowly for all you with learning disabilities, B-U-S-I-N-E-S-S-E-S!!! Big brother, Government surveillance agencies and last but not least...GOOGLE! The ONLY people you are anon from are those who have no desire to know who your stupid ass is, cause guess what dirt bag?....You gave GOOGLE your fucking name when you signed up for your account! All those you wished to remain anonymous to...They know exactly who and where you are! Good show there jackbone! So if you truly wish to be anonymous on the internet then you cannot have an email account or be joined to any kind of internet accounts at all! and sweep out your entire browser each time you use it, purge all cookies! And after all that...they STILL can trace you! Stop being so damned concerned with a concept that cannot be done, internet anonymity is a fucking myth!

Where i work

Taken from the 13th floor of where i work. I want some from 16 but it is rented. :( I'll keep trying!

frown emoticoI'll keep trying.

My new joint!

Well it has been a long time coming, but I am finally in my new place, and it is off to an astounding start! I love it here!

I have big plans for this place,,,

The whole enchilada...or my living room.

  I have touched on my plans before but I felt I could go into a bit more detail, for no reason at all save my present boredom!
 So here I go again...

      I plan to take some basic, cheap stuff from Ikea and transform an apartment into one fun
pad for the man who just needs to relax and chill at the end of his day. Yes, a man can have class
and even live clean and neat and even decorate his home in style and not be "gay". I am so tired of
that tired ass cliche! Okay, enough of my soap box and on to the good stuff!

   Between Ikea, American furniture warehouse, HomeGoods, World Market and Ross I have, or plan to, obtain:

              from Ikea:

 for my TV

 from Walmart My 40 inch TV...

Ikea... one of these

                                                                                        on either side

 then these as

                                                                                         end tables...

   Then from Walmart I plan to get these cool lamps, which happen to perfectly fit my Asian theme...

                                                                             then this

 

Then American furniture warehouse will help my endeavor with these two beauties...

 

and then to separate the kitchen and living room with style and in that Asian theme, from World Market...

 my new Shinto Screen!

I plan on filling my place with nice plants and a fountain or two, as well as I am checking into obtaining a few of these sweet little salt lights, there's a place a Cherry Creek Mall that has these that are about 11 inches tall and they are B-e-a-utiful!

I plan on at least two Bonsai trees, fakes of coarse, and a handful of tasteful Asian art pieces to fill some shelf space.

I recently went to the fabric store and bought some really nice Asian scenery fabric and stretched it onto three equal sized canvasses and made my own wall hanging, will post pics when it is all hung, it is really nice!, I encourage people to try that themselves, you may surprise yourself.

Update: I went to American today and when we were walking around we noticed that the couches were WAY cheaper than they were two weeks ago...actually affordable. Needless to say, I got a sofa instead of the two chairs..And it was cheaper by about $30. I also got a wicked 8 X 10 area rug, but I couldn't locate a pic on AFW.com...It matches everything else in the room with blues and grays and silvers... Anyway...here is the couch, the pic is deceiving, it is actually gray.

 

it is huge! I can actually lay out fully and not touch either end! They are cushions that come off and can be unzipped, removed and washed! The pillows come with it but I'm not crazy bout those! The arms are very overstuffed so maybe the wood won't be all upside my head in 6 months. For under $400 it is an excellent deal!

I finally see it!

Well...we saw the apartment for the first time today. I think it has a butt ton of potential, mom thinks it needs cleaned and dipped in a giant vat of bleach! Needless to say, the previous tenant was a very dirty individual! The carpet gets cleaned on Tuesday, then Wednesday evening I am going to bug bomb, then on Thursday and Friday night I will be scrubbing and scouring it to death! I have a great start on my furnishings and should be able to accomplish that task, with help of a friend, on Saturday! It has a HUGE amount of storage and closet space! It must have over 20 cabinets in the kitchen and 7 in the bathroom...a walk in in the bedroom, a full pantry, and a big hall closet! A front door off the living room and my back door leads out of my bedroom onto my covered porch! With another storage out there! I found several area rugs I really liked at Ikea but they are better than $150 and up, for the ones I liked..so that may wait a little while. I got my Shinto screen today, Japanese room divider for those who don't know, and it was cheaper than online, by the delivery charge. I got a real nice set of lighter grey and silver curtains for the living room..This place is going to be SO cool..I SO cannot wait!!!

What a view!

I keep trying to send pics from my work to my email from the iphone they have, but it keeps "failed to send" on me! A new iphone has been ordered and when it arrives I will post pics from the 16th floor windows. It's a pretty cool view, though I wish there was less city and more mountain...

What the?!

Okay...this is twice I have tried to secure my move in moneys in recent times. The first was at my bank, I tried to get Cashiers Checks for the rent and deposit. Who knew you had to have their name to print out on the checks? I sure didn't! Ucchhh! Whatever!
The second was just now at Safeway! I requested the things, gave her the amounts and she says...CASH ONLY!!! Who the F**K walks around with over $1000 in cash!? I specifically got a secure bank card for exactly that reason! It is not a credit card! It can only transact what is available in the bank! This is getting really f**king stupid! How the hell do other people pay rent? Do I need to hearken back to 1973 and write out a F**king check!? Do I need to get me one of those brown Naugahyde checkbook sleeves and shake it angrily at children as i mosey down the street!?  Do they even make checks anymore? Aren't Nauga's extinct? Who makes these dumb decisions? I must carry huge sums of money into a retail store, IF I am not robbed in the parking lot!, and fork it down on the counter, getting the immediate attention of every criminal in Safeway, and pray I can make it home with these Money orders AND my life! What is the point in having these bank accounts or these cards or any of it!?

My Place of Employment...

 I am, and have been for 2 months now, working full time, and inside, and I get to go home just as clean as I left in the morning! I am the Day Porter at 1401 17th Street in Denver CO., the Alamo Building. Okay so the day porter is another term for...Janitor, so I am a glorified Janitor! BUT... the hours ROCK! 8 am to 5 pm! The days are AWESOME! Mon.-Fri.! And the pay is average..$11 an hour with a raise in January!
 My average day consists of mopping the Lobby, spot clean 33 restrooms and make sure they are stocked with paper products...then the hard part starts...the boredom! Apparently, my predecessors have not been able to handle the job, too much for them...I do the job before noon then have to wait for something else to happen! I guess people are just lazy and want to be paid for excuses and whining.
 The Property Manager had me in for a meeting this week to tell me she was very impressed with my work and asked me if I had any needs or wants. To me, that is amazing since all I have heard from others is how much a monster she is...She was exceptionally nice to me! She is working on getting me a more efficient system for reporting and solving repair issues with the building engineer, who is the only source of disagreement for me. I report a problem and he does absolutely nothing...that's basically it! NOW however, she want's me to report things to her and she will light the proper fire under his butt to get it done! Heehee!
 My wish WAS to start the New Year, 2016, off with a new job AND a new home...The new job is off to a very proper start...but the new home...well lets just say I'm still waiting! I have moved on from a lot of my "old ways", my "old friends", my "old life". No more "D's" for me as I can spend my money on much more productive recreation! No more smoking inside my home..NOT an option! From now on if I want something...I buy it! No more worry!, no more excuses!, Just do it! My life will now be lived like I deserve, no more creating my own pain, my own drama! I have one "friend" now and guess what? That's damn fine with me!
 No more will I concern myself with someone else's kids, Chevie and Echo were a source of far too much pain for me! I feel I invested way to much love, concern, time and money into that situation and it will not happen again! That is a closed chapter in my life!
 I will no longer tolerate mismatched things in my home! Everything will match! EVERYTHING!
No more one green chair and a brown sofa! Now...Matching pieces! PERIOD! Also, I will be living as clean as I did in the early 90's...NO MORE CLUTTER! Everything WILL be streamlined and feng shui! I have had quite enough unnecessary stress and rage in my life, mostly of my own making, but those days are finished! Time for me to go to work, then go home for ME time! And me time is all about me and me alone!
 I will set aside time to regularly spend with family..I will try to live as morally straight as I can. No more "shady web sites" and no more spending my time and money on stuff that brings me no joy! I need to change my entire life from the most awful deprivations to common every day mistakes that bring me to points of rage and hate.
 I know I will have a heck of a fight on my hands...but I think I am worth it!

Sometimes you just gotta' breathe....

 Well, I am in good health, my new job is going very well, I am getting great reviews and a raise is eminent, I am saving more money that ever before, I now know what my rent will be on my new apartment...if the Lady who is there now ever gets her stuff together and moves!!!, and I am in a position to pay that rent very easily and still be in a really REALLY good place to furnish it to my new exquisite taste! I am just so impatient to get this new chapter of my life going, I'm set, Money's set...now it's all on this stranger.. I am literally going berserk! I can't order any furniture, electronics, not even curtains...cause I don't know how big the windows are!!! Plus I don't want to fill my Mother's home with a bunch of clutter...so I'm stuck! Ever had a situation where you are waiting for someone else before a MAJOR event in your life may proceed?
 I have Ikea on hold for 3 book shelves, 3 tables and 1 small shelving unit...
I have American Furniture on hold for two rocker recliners...
I have Walmart on hold for curtains, lamps and some decorations...
I have Home Goods on hold for LOTS of decorations...
as well as Ross and World Market and Gordmans!!!
Not to mention what I am ordering online!!! AAAAAAAAAARRGHH!
 It wouldn't bother me so much IF this person hadn't made an agreement with this Church to do this move BY THE 15th!
Okay..Calm Down...Just Breathe!